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Welcome to our adult relationships humor, funny articles and sex jokes!
Understanding the differences on how men and women regard sex, relationships and dating can be very tricky. We hope you gain some insight into a each others thought process, but don't count it! :) Regardless, you might have a good time.
Best Sites for Meeting Single Women Seeking Men
The worlds best pick up lines that chick really dig! *cough*
Welcome to sex articles and relationship humor for frustrated singles! With the advent of online dating, finding and picking up single girls is now very easy in comparison to hanging out at the local meat market bar. And a helluva lot cheaper! For what it costs to have a few round of drinks, you can get full memberships with the top ten dating services on the web and hit pay dirt!
Of course you can place ads with all the listed match sites and it won't cost a thing. Plus, you can place personals on our network. and contact as many profiles as you like, totally for free with no strings attached! You don't even have to register
to surf the ads and send messages. Nice to have choice's, huh? However, should you still prefer going to the bars and nightclubs,
we've compiled the ultimate list of pick up lines just for you! Make sure you smile when using any of these hip come ons, ok?
We only list sites that adhere to a zero tolerance NO SPAM policy meaning no pop ups, exit consoles, blind links, redirects or invasive spyware tactics what so ever. We all hate those things, figure that you do to. We don't even use banners anymore! Enjoy, and happy safe surfing!
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Old Popular Standby Pick Up Lines
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away
Editors Favorite (This one actually worked several times)
"If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning."
Seeking to Pick Up Women and Score some Booty?
Here's the best pick up come on lines ever recorded!
Cut to the Chase Pick Up Lines
- I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
- Nice legs...what time do they open?
- Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
- You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
- Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
- I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
- Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
- Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
- Are those real?
- You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
- I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
- (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
- F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
- My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
- Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
- My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
- I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
- If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
- Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
- Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
- Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
- Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
- I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
- (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
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The single women's pick up line survival guide (Swiped from a chick site for your personal Intel)
Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized !
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
Man: I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.
Man: I'd love to get into your pants.
Woman: No thanks, I already have one a**hole in there already.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
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